I have no faith.
I have no faith in an absent god and no faith in humankind.
Life is not going to get better.
People are not going to wake up from this hedonist, lascivious, selfish nightmare and realize “we are the world.”
Wars are going to get worse. Cruelty is going to get worse. Anger and meanness and resentment and selfishness and lying and stealing are going to get worse.
There’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
The American soul is dead.
Would somebody stop the world and let me off, please?
I’ve been reading a magnificent book called What Buddhists Believe. The copy I have was printed by the Texas Buddhist Association*. I’m a bit slow in getting through it, haven’t finished it yet, but on about every page I find stuff that just thrills my soul. What a wonderful world this would be if people would abide by what this book teaches!
Consider these examples:
In the world today, there is sufficient material wealth. There are very advanced individuals, brilliant writers, talented speakers, philosophers, psychologists, scientists, religious advisors, wonderful poets and powerful world leaders. In spite of these intellectuals, there’s no real peace and security in the world today. Something must be lacking. What is lacking is loving-kindness or goodwill amongst mankind. (p165)
Man should learn how to practice selfless love to maintain real peace and his own salvation. Just as suicide kills physically, selfishness kills spiritual progress. Loving-kindness in Buddhism is neither emotional or selfish. It is loving-kindness that radiates through the purified mind after erradicating hatred, jealousy, cruelty, enmity and grudges. (p166)
All my life I’ve had one question on my mind. That question is WHY? Well, there’s actually a few thousand questions that begin with the word, “why?” Why are humans so cruel, so hateful, so rude, so selfish? I grew up in the sixties. The news carried video of dead VC, gave body counts, told about the war in Vietnam. The next story on the news was of some race riot or protest. It was a quiet day around the house when someone wasn’t arguing, mom wasn’t complaining about some illness, or some other crap was going on. Why?
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Preface to Christians: Before I ever start this post let me acknowledge that I understand it’s entirely unlikely any Christian will read it with an honest attitude and an open mind. I know how Christians think. I will offend you no matter what I say. Expect that.
Preface to non-Christians: Do not attempt to use the following to throw stones at Christians. They are, as I once was, completely and entirely deluded, brainwashed, confused and totally incapable of seeing truth. You should not blame them for their blindness. Do not count me with those who wish to eradicate Christianity or want religion itself to be destroyed. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
On with the post:
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Not long after my mom died I concluded I had to write something with the title “Life After Mom.” I had to explain the before and after of my life, my beliefs, my direction. I let my mind ponder through the holidays.
Totally without any planning today I wrote what needed to be written. The following essay began as a response to an email to a new friend telling about my history and beliefs and morphed into what it is now. I re-wrote the letter to the friend and revised the rest into this work. (And I’ve revised it again having read it out loud and found some terrible writing!)
I will at some point expound further on these thoughts but for now this is what I want to say about….
Life After Mom
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The doc pretty much confirmed what I had surmised already. Mom’s digestive system is not going to function. In all likelihood the cancer that took her kidney has enveloped part of her intestine. Point of view and treatment options switched today from trying for improvement to getting her comfortable and planning for extended care for as long as she lives.
When my dad died I can’t say how mad I got at God. In these situations some of the strongest Christians sometimes start a sentence in their mind, “what kind of God would…..”
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Sitting here on the first floor of Memorial in a snack bar I hear conversation behind me. From their dress and mannerisms the people are Pentecostal. There were two families talking. One person ask another, “what can we do for you?” The answer: “just pray, that is all.”
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“I know what you are against. But what are you for?”
Emile de Becque in the movie “South Pacific”
In the recent post “Walking Away… ” I talked about my choice to leave behind my “former life,” the religion and tradition of my youth. I gave a few glimpses about why. But that post is only half the story. The quote above, one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies, reflects how we too often use negatives to prove our point without ever giving a positive reason.
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I have left Christianity. I continue to distance myself from everything “Church” and “Christian.” I’m not running but I’m certainly walking rather quickly.
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Saturday Morning reflections…
A discussion on the SacredCowTippers Yahoo group led to my posting the following about our “sin nature.” I thought I’d stick it here for the fun of it.
The post:
Good Morning.
Last evening Julie G. asked for my thoughts on original sin. I was too zonked to answer. I’m not sure I’m all here this morning but I’ll give it a shot.
I’m no theologian. I didn’t sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night, either. lol Ahh, but that hasn’t stopped the old Trailerpark Scholar (me) from talking like one, eh? So, what is “original sin?” (more…)
